Chapter 6 – Preacher Man

After her brother fell into addiction and her sister fell pregnant all in the same summer Penny’s parents lost their minds. At least in her opinion. After that instead of the normal freedoms of summer her parents would pack her off in the mornings to the local church or community center or food bank. Wherever it was that the bible thumpers were gathering for the day to do their “good works”. Honestly her parents were treating the congregation like a kind of demented but free day camp. They would drop her off with the local preacher man where they wouldn’t have to worry about her getting into any kind of trouble before harring off to one of Lisa’s endless baby appointments or going off to speak to one of the million and a half addiction specialists around town. 

At first she had been outraged and determined to be enough of an unhelpful brat to be sent packing after a few days. She was sure her parents didn’t have a backup plan. People don’t start with this kind of arrangement, they end with it. If she could shake off the hellfire and brimstone chastity police she was sure she could salvage some of her summer. 

At least that was the plan before she met Reverend Cooper. He was unlike any church goer she had ever seen or even heard about before. She had started out helping him in his office, which in actuality translated to her sulking in the corner while he worked. Over time they got to talking, or more accurately she started listening, and she learned that the good Reverend wasn’t as much of a believer as people may have thought with a job like his. 

Apparently he knew the bible backwards and forwards not because he was a dyed-in-the-wool believer but because his mother was and he had a good memory and a mind for debate. When he was younger his mother would all but sic him on the non believers in their own congregation just for the fun of watching them all get outsmarted by a child. Eventually forcing people to find logic in faith and forcing people to confront the inconsistencies in their own behavior and beliefs became nearly a habit for him and he all but fell into his current career. 

He would always say that he was a man of science at heart and he followed all the latest developments of man religiously and even found ways to work some of the information into his weekly sermons. But according to him he was also a man of humanity and the idea of leaving people to wallow in ignorance simply because of where they chose to learn was nearly sacrilegious to him. He would say that religious folk no matter what their faith were the most eager to learn, they devoutly flocked towards new words of wisdom each and every week without fail. Who else could say that?

Talking to the Rev. became her new favorite pastime, she always felt like she learned something when they spoke even if she wasn’t quite sure what that something was. She would spend hours each night trying to unravel the mystery that was this scientific man of God. After nearly three months of helping him write his sermons, mostly by being a captive and honest audience, she still wasn’t any closer to any sort of an answer. Her parents were thrilled by her new found wholesome turn and pretty much left her to it without any kind of outside interference from them. She became the one they didn’t have to worry about and after a while that became the part of her life she was most proud of. 

After a few years she and the good Reverend decided to get hitched. Their wedding was small but fun with that little edge of strange that came with taking a husband like hers. And on their wedding night she showed Sheldon a whole new world. He had shown her so many it was about time she started blowing his mind too, it was only fair after all.

A/N – I read a story once that had a little snippet in it about how in another world Sheldon could have been a preacher and this is my take on that idea. Just what kind of preacher would Sheldon be? Well in my humble opinion I submit this kind.

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