Chapter 2 – Safe as Houses

Kenzi knew she was in trouble. Bo had disappeared, no one knew where to find Dyson, Trick had pulled a rabbit act, the Fae had basically declared humans terrorists, and she was all alone. Even Hale was nowhere to be found, not that he was last on her list of helpful allies or anything but he was a sort of last resort most days and she’d been snatched by the crazy evil bitch lady.

If ever she was in need of a white knight it was now, but unfortunately at the moment that was something that seemed to be in short supply. Shifting a little she tried to find a way out of her bonds but she was locked up tight, for now anyway, not that she would stop trying. She needed to get out of here and find Bo-Bo. Something was horribly wrong; she just knew it.

The evil bitch lady, as she had been appropriately dubbed at the beginning of this little heart to heart of theirs, had left about an hour ago and there was no telling when she would be making her reappearance. She had to work quickly if she even wanted the slightest chance of getting out of this hellhole and back to her warm and cozy crack shack.

Vex answered his phone just as he decided to have the big bad Morrigan twirl for him. The little bitch really should have remembered who he was while he was having that little bit of trouble and treated him with the respect he deserved. Maybe, if he hadn’t been so humiliated by her this wouldn’t be happening. No, who was he kidding, it would all have gone just about the same. He’d been set on this path since he first got volunteered by the succu-bitch to fight the Garuda with her band of merry men against his will.

Answering the phone to stop the ringing from ruining the happy tune in his head he decided to let his cheer show, for now.

“Hello, Hello!”

“Vex! Tell me everything is set on your end.” Ah, the proverbial white knight, so to speak, the savior and champion of Fae and human kind everywhere. Prick!

“Of course, her Royal Thighness is ready for delivery. It’s like my birthday, La Shoshain, and the St. Valentine’s Massacre all rolled into one. Just, you remember our deal and everything will go off without so much as a bump, yeah.” Of course while he was talking she kept squirming about trying to escape, like he would ever allow that to happen with so much on the line for him personally. “Stop struggling dearest. You bruise so easily.”

“Don’t worry, I remember our deal. You keep your end and I’ll keep mine.” That was the one thing the white hats really had going for them, when they gave their word they actually kept it. Unlike his side where it was a fifty-fifty toss up every time as to which side it would all fall on. While there were a number of benefits to always looking out for number one and no one else, there were also a number of drawbacks. Fortunately, he really didn’t have to worry about that at the moment, he was dealing with an upper crust Light Fae after all. Their word was their bond. They’d rather die than break it. 


“No worries mate. Talk at ya later. I got business to be doing.” With that he hung up on the Ash… former Ash… Siren… wanker. Pulling out his new taser, compliments of the twirling moron, oh sorry Morrigan, and gave it a little test spark. Partly because he wanted to see her eyes widen and partly, well mostly, because he loved the little sound it made. Time to get to work earning his prize.

“Vex, wait we can make a deal.”

Oh he loved it when people got to the bargaining stage of torture time. Though usually that didn’t happen until after they’d experienced at least a little pain. He hadn’t even touched her yet and she was already rolling over and showing her tummy. That just wasn’t sporting at all. 

Oh, well may as well hear her out, she couldn’t offer him anything better than the siren already had but it would be fun watching her try. Hale had offered up a free pass for him in Light Fae territories, no more boundaries for good old Vex, and to sweeten the pot even more when he’d hesitated to take the deal, which had just been him daydreaming of all the glorious things he was going to do to dear old Evony, he’d added a cherry on top in the form of a favor owed to him. A powerful Light Fae from an ancient family owing him a favor, it didn’t get much better than that.

“What you got?” Go on let her bargain; it would make for a good laugh at least.

“The girl.”

“What girl?” Did she really think he’d welsh on a deal over some doxy? Some two bit whore? Did she not know him at all? Honestly.

“The succu-sluts pet human.” Hold the phone, what was this now?

“Kenzi?” What about that little crumpet? She was with the light tight asses wasn’t she?

“I have her. My people snatched her out of the Dahl after we declared war on the humans. They brought her to me so I could ask her questions about her owner. You let me go and I’ll give her to you.” Oh, the sound of the little bitch begging was just music to his ears, he would never get enough of that sound. However, she did raise an interesting question for himself didn’t she?

“What good will that do me when Bobo-kins comes calling for her lost kitten? Not like I’d get to keep her.” Not that he was saying he’d want to keep her, but then again it weren’t like he didn’t want to keep her either.

“Haven’t you heard yet? Word is the succubus is gone. Poof, vanished into thin air like that barkeep, and the Valkyrie. She was unaligned meaning now that she isn’t here to assert her claim on the little bitch.”

“Kenzi is fair game.” He answered her almost absently too caught up in his own thoughts to really pay her much attention, beyond the occasional love tap with his new taser toy. So the heavy hitters had all skedaddled, huh? Succubus, Blood King, and Valkyrie all gone, but why would they all leave nibblet behind? Especially after she’d been proclaimed persona non grata here in parts unknown? Did he really care why? Not really, but did he care enough to help the little darling out? That was the real question.

Could be fun he did have a soft spot for the little goth. She’d actually become a friend while he was down and out, and if on occasion he’d fantasized about her becoming more than that no one else ever need know it. But if he welshed on the Siren he wouldn’t get his payment from him. What to do? Oh…. oh brilliant. He didn’t have to welsh on anyone he would keep his deals all around and just rake in the lovelies.

“You’re gonna stay right here for another hour. After that I let you up and you give me what you promised, yeah?” He sparked the taser again, just for emphasis that this weren’t really a negotiation.

“Why not let me up now? You’ll have the girl all the sooner.”

He paused like he was actually thinking it over, even though he’d already made up his mind and they both knew it. Laying back he pillowed his head on her abdomen, there was enough cushion there to make him comfortable after all, and began to hum a little like he was debating whether or not to take her up on her end of things.

“Maybe so, but if I let you out now I’ll be going back on my deal with the Siren and I really want the payment he offered up. This way you get to live, free and clear to torment those weaker than you another day, and I still get everything that’s coming to me. Deal?”

She didn’t like it, she wanted up now. She could try to push it, they both knew he wanted the girl, but she also knew that if she pushed too hard he could and would make her pay for the attempt. Not to mention his letting her make this deal at all was a courtesy, a niggling of respect from days gone by, he knew enough about how she operated to find the little thing with barely a day’s search. There were only a handful of places she could have stashed the girl from the Dahl and gotten back here in time for him to intercept her after all. The girl was his for the taking, she just needed to decide if she wanted to be around for the aftermath or not.


“Fantastic!” Everything was coming up aces for him, and he wanted to celebrate. The taser did spark so pretty like.

Kenzi looked around the new room she found herself in, the entire place was a mix of black and crimson, Dark Fae land if ever she saw it. It seemed to her like the Dark were allergic to any color beyond the ones that put you in mind of a horror movie. She knew they were called the Dark Fae, and that they were all mostly homicidal D-bags, but did they really have to sell the point so forcefully? A little blue wouldn’t hurt their image too much. She wasn’t even talking baby blue here a nice navy would work just as good.

It was a bedroom, complete with all the furnishings, only it didn’t have any windows so she didn’t know anything about where she was. The Evil Bitch’s minions had put a bag over her head before carrying her here, wherever here was. No one had been in since they had left her inside this clichéd evil lair, she’d tried the door but of course it was locked, couldn’t be that easy. At least she wasn’t tied down any more, not that it did her any good, but at least it was something of an improvement. Well if she couldn’t get herself out, there was nothing else to do but try to bluff her way out. She’d done it a million times before, the worst that happened was they’d call her bluff and she’d still be stuck down here in square one.

Of course that square one could also turn quickly into negative squares when dealing with the Fae who routinely had skinny Russian girls on their meal plan. Shaking her head she tried not to think about that, thinking about it wouldn’t do her any good and would only end up making her too scared to move forward. Taking a deep breath she dug down to find her nerve and started talking.

“Hello! I want out of here like now-ish and if you know what’s good for you you’ll totally let me out before my friends come looking for me. I don’t know if you’ve ever been Succu-punched but I can tell you it’s not pleasant.”

Vex looked at Kenzi through the little window that to her looked like a rather raunchy painting and couldn’t help but smile. That’s his girl; never let that brave face slip. He knew he had nothing to worry about where her Light Fae white knights were concerned. Hell, when it came to them he probably knew more about their current predicaments than she did, she’d already been all trussed up with the Morons minions when most of them had hit the road after all. There was still no sign of Bo or Trick, the overgrown puppy had been in a little car accident with the Valkyrie who was presumed dead-er than dead, and the siren was busy trying to save his own neck.

In all the chaos from the little declaration of war spouted at the Dahl a few hours ago he doubted anyone even realized his darling girl was gone yet, and once they did the only one who could tie him to it was the Morrigan, and he doubted she would ever utter another peep against him for the rest of her days. A little torture tended to do that for a person after all. Plus he had the added protection that if she went and squealed on him to the Light she would have to tell them all about how he’d gotten his hands on the darling girl in the first place. Mutually assured destruction was always one hell of a safety net. Plus the get out of trouble favor owed to him by Hale had him sitting pretty as can be.

Now he just had to figure out his next move. He knew she’d be a might upset about this whole thing, and even though she was human Kenzi could do a lot of damage with the right motivation. He knew from experience the girl could rage with the best of them, and rage was one hell of a motivator.

He would think on it while he went about his business, he had so many things to see to. First, he had to make sure that none of the Light Fae douches were really looking for Kenzi. Then he had to put out feelers for Bo’s whereabouts even if he couldn’t find where she was at the moment he at least wanted to know when she eventually made her way back to town, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that she would be coming back after all she’d left something rather important behind and she’d be wanting her pet back soon enough. After that he needed to check in with his club manager and make sure his legit business was staying on the up and up. So much to do, so little time.

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